last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
