I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize