Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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