dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
