When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
