I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where is the hickey?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she told me i tasted like america
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
