Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
