Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
