yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
