he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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