PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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