I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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