I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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