my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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