I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
