Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
