all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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