I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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