its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
