I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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