What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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