i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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