soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
