holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
