so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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