bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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