I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
