I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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