I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
