cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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