Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
