I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
