woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I could fuck to npr.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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