Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
