Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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