So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
