I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
