Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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