I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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