he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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