Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
