90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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