He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
