We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
