You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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