does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
