if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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