if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Randomize