Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
