It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I look better un-naked...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
