Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
