this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
