she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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