did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
