??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We got so high we made milksteak
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
