Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ugly people sure do ruin things
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im part way to drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
