Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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