it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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