Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
