Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize