"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
